Ok, ok, so you've got a slick website and lots of credentials, but who actually are your clients?

I often get asked about who I work with, which reassures me I'm not the only nosey person in the world! For context, I only work with adults, and the majority of my clients are 30+, neurodivergent (ND), and/or queer people. Typically, they also belong to erotically marginalised communities, including LGBTQIA+, kinky, non-monogamous, fat, disabled, and non-white.

This article offers some composite examples of my actual clients. What that means is that all of these examples are based on real human beings; however, all identifying features have been changed or amalgamated.

(For comparison, here is an earlier version of this article written in 2019 but republished on this version of the website in 2024.)

Paul

Paul is an autistic 30-something cisgender man, who is first-generation Black British. He had never had a partner because he felt so ashamed that he didn't want penetrative sex. This lack of certainty about something he feels is fundamental to human existence was confusing and upsetting for him. He also struggled to maintain an erection unless he was watching porn.

When we first started talking about how he feels about sex, he realised he felt a lot of shame as he didn't view sex the 'normal' way. A few months into our work together, he shared how, in his early teens, he had been groomed. Ever since then, his feelings of terror, disgust, and shame had fought inside him, wrestling with his body's response to unwanted attention.

A lot changed as he worked through these experiences, separating out the different emotions and expressing his hurt and anger. Paul eventually joined a Meetup group for asexual autistic adults and is now exploring romance at a slow pace that feels comfortable and right for him.

Alisa & Heather

Alisa was a bubbly 25-year-old queer Scottish ciswoman who sought sex therapy after seven years with her partner. They couldn’t talk about sex without one or both of them ending up in tears, despite being a blissfully happy couple otherwise.

Alisa’s combined-ADHD was a "bubbling brook" to autistic Heather’s "limpid loch". Heather was often interrupted by Alisa, who assumed she already knew what Heather was going to say. When Heather was given more time to talk about her experiences, she started dropping clues that there were connections between her senses that hadn’t yet been acknowledged.

When Heather heard about synaesthesia, she had a lightbulb moment. She finally understood why sensory words like ‘hearing’ and ‘smelling’ never seemed to fit her intertwined experiences. Using this information and some of the tools from the Neurodivergent Me Course, Alisa and Heather both created their own sensory profiles and were able to have entirely different — and a lot more fun — conversations about sensations and sex.

Juniper & Jackson

Juniper was a 30-something, non-binary fascinator who only wore purple. Jackson was an older, autistic cisman. They had met through their local kink scene and had been having penetrative sex until Juniper started to explore their own neurodiversity and sensory sensitivities.

Juniper quickly realised they found sex overwhelming and confusing; although some sensations were enjoyable, most were uncomfortable. This started Juniper on a journey to explore their relationship with their body and gender, finally feeling most comfortable with non-genital physical intimacy and identifying as asexual.

Eventually, they found a solution that satisfied them both. Juniper would wear their favourite latex bodysuit and gloves to fist Jackson. Jackson was delighted, as he was still being penetrated by and submissive to Juniper, resulting in him feeling physically and emotionally satiated. Juniper had the sensory sensations they craved without any body fluids touching their skin.

But what about your high-profile clients?

What about them? Do you think just because someone is famous or successful that they are not entitled to their privacy?!