What is neurodivergent masking or camouflaging? 

Neurodivergent masking refers to the way people with neurodivergent conditions suppress or hide aspects of themselves in order to fit in with societal expectations. It's particularly common for people on the autistic spectrum but can be experienced by anyone who is neurodivergent.

Why do people mask?

Arguably, there are 3 main reasons why we mask: 

• Social Acceptance: to try to fit in, by trying to work out the social codes and rules that the neurotypical majority live by (and all seem to magically know!)
• Social Safety: to feel safe around people, thereby avoiding social judgment, discrimination, or bullying.
• Belonging: see this article for why this is crucial for neurodivergent people's mental health.

How does masking work?

As explained above, the overarching aim of masking is to improve social situations for the neurodivergent person. Once we're away from other humans, we rarely have the urge, need, or desire to mask. 

3 common aspects of masking behaviour are: 

• Mimicking Behaviors: This could involve copying social cues, facial expressions, or speech patterns observed in neurotypical people.
• Stifling Stimming: Stimming refers to repetitive movements or sounds that can be comforting for neurodivergent people. Masking might involve suppressing these stims or moving them to less noticeable parts of the body (e.g. instead of wiggling your fingers, your wriggle your toes in your shoes).  
• Camouflaging Interests: Someone might downplay their passions or interests to avoid being seen as "different".

Are there downsides to masking? 

Definitely! While masking can help some people navigate social situations, it can also have downsides:

• Mental Strain: Constantly masking can be mentally and emotionally draining.
• Increased Shame: Feeling that your true self is wrong or broken and not worthy of love.
• Loss of Identity: Masking can make it difficult to connect with others authentically.
• Burnout: The long-term effort of masking can lead to burnout and mental health issues.
• Fitting in but not Belonging: Being liked for who you pretend to be isn't the same as being loved for who you are.

What can help people to mask less?

Unmasking is often a long and slow process over months and years rather than hours or days. Personally, I feel it's a never-ending gobstopper of an onion with layer after layer after layer! 

Here are 5 steps that can help the unmasking process: 

• Accept the Process: It can days months, years, or even a lifetime, and that's ok.
• Self-Acceptance: Recognising and appreciating your neurodivergent self in all your weird and wonderfulness is a crucial step.
• Supportive Environments : Seek out communities and spaces that celebrate neurodiversity and allow you to be yourself.
• Connected Community: Find other people with your specific and unusual shared interested; I promise you they are out there somewhere.
• Open Communication: Consider talking to trusted friends, family, or therapists about your experiences.

Remember, masking is a coping mechanism, and it keeps people safe, often during times of their life they have no better means of doing so. However, there are usually more comfortable ways of being yourself and so it shouldn't be the only way you navigate the world. There's growing acceptance for neurodiversity, and creating spaces where you can be yourself is important for your well-being.

If you want help unmasking, I'm here to help.